Please, Don’t Touch Anything
I’ve been taking my time with Bulkypix’s iOS port of Please, Don’t Touch Anything because I want to savor it and try to figure it all out on my own. It turns out, though, that the iOS version has three new endings that weren’t on the PC version. The PC version had 22 endings, while the iOS has 25. I’m going to list the new ones here as I find them, so don’t read if you don’t want to be spoiled!
***UPDATE: You can now see all the new endings below.***
First of all, I found a UV light, which apparently wasn’t in the PC version. It reveals a whole bunch of clues and drawings. Some parts have proven useful so far, but I’m still deciphering the rest. You can see what it looks like and how to access the UV light in this video below:
The first clue from the UV light that made sense to me is that if you use the screwdriver to reveal the four colored buttons, the UV light will show a number 4 on the red button. If you press the red button four times, an object appears that I haven’t figured out how to use yet.
To get one of the iOS endings (ending 24), get the UV light the way I show in the video above. Then, use the UV light on the four green buttons to show “MORSE”. Then, use the UV light on the note that says “DON’T DO IT”. The letters DOT will light up. So look up Morse code for DOT and you get -Γò¼├┤Γö£├ºΓö£ΓöéΓò¼├┤Γö£├ºΓö£Γöé—-, or dash dot dot dash dash dash dash. Use the Bender buttons that say 0 and 1 to type out 1001111 in binary and you’ll get the ocean/beach ending with a little sailboat.
You can also see the video here:
Someone asked for a photo of the arrows ending, which also seems to be a new one (ending 22?). You get it by tapping on the big red button once, then on the small grey arrow that appears next to it, and then keep following the arrows. You’ll eventually open a 3×5 grid of green buttons. You need to turn them all yellow (lit up). If you do so in 6 moves, you get the Strange Numbers achievement. Thanks to Jacobo911 for the tip how to get the achievement.
Here’s a video for it:
Update: Thanks to Alex, I got ending 23 and recorded it. I’m not sure why, but if you enter “2001” (Space Odyssey, maybe?) into the ten-digit keypad, three wheels pop up. The UV light shows a solar system with a question mark on Pluto. So spell out Pluto with the three wheels and press the grey button to get a key. Then open the panel with the four colored buttons and press Red four times to get the keyhole. Put the key in the keyhole to get ending 23 with the rocket. If you got 24 endings at this point, you’ll be able to access the last one with the coffee.
You can also see a video of this:
There are also some numbers you can see under the UV light. If you translate them to letters using 1=A, 2=B, 3=C, etc, you get a message that isn’t very helpful.
(not sure why an M is missing in “completely”)
The 23.1.19 is between wings, so I don’t know if it had some purpose. The panel that opens up to take the diamond also looks like feathered wings. So perhaps they’re related?
Another clue is Ostap Bender, who’s a character in a book called “The Twelve Chairs.” There also happens to be 12 chairs around the Bender buttons.
If you need any help with other levels that I’ve completed, feel free to ask. This is what I have so far:
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I found another ending. If you hit the button once then look closely at the button, an arrow had appeared, Tap next to the button and a red arrow pops out. Tap in the direction the arrow is pointing. This will lead you on for several red arrows until you open a smaller version of the lightboard. Find a way to turn all the lights on and the world will slit in half
I was trying not to cheat but couldn’t help myself. 😛
I think that ending triggers something else, though. A book.
Hey, did you look the left of the “Ending Photo Wall”
with UV Light? You can see, a ghost is trying to touch the button on the photo. Please look and reply fast.
I can send you a photo if you want.
Hmmm I’ll take a look. I can’t remember.
Hi! I am having trouble finding the fourth red arrow. Could you please send me a video of this over email. Thanks!
I just posted a screenshot with all the arrows. 🙂
Thanks! After I find the last arrow, what is supposed to happen?
You get a small panel of green buttons, which you have to turn all yellow. I can try getting a video of it, but this game seems to have cursed my recording equipment. 😛
Thank you! You have been a real help!?
🙂 Let me know if you need any help with the other levels I’ve completed. The only one I am not touching ever again is Boom City.
Yeah I have completed 22 endings, but Boom City is a real pain and I can’t finish it
It took me so many tries. You have to be nearly perfect with every bomb.
Do you happen to know the last ios ending? I know after doing the first 15 from the steam release you get the coffee ending by pressing the red button for the last time, and I still haven’t completed the Boom City ending. I am still looking with the UV light for the last ios ending, and I thought because you were such a great help, that you knew it
I’m still working my way through the others. I’m missing 10 of them (you can see in the photo at the bottom that I keep updating). But I think the final ending is supposed to be related to that metal thing with a hole in it. Apparently no one’s figured out a use for it yet.
If you tell me the endings you are missing, I can help you if you want.?
I’m trying not to cheat! 😛
Did you get the Strange Nymbers achievement when you solved the 5×3 grid?
Btw, if you want to share any new ones with everyone else, I’ll try to keep myself from looking. 😉
I’m all caught up now, after a bit of cheating. :/ Which 5×3 grid, though?
When you do the red arrows ending you have to fill the 5×3 grid. But you have to complete the grid in 6 moves.
Ahh ok. Thanks. I’ll try to do that.
Ahhhh can’t seem to do it.
Do you want me to tell you how to do it?
Sure, why not? Thanks!
The buttons you have to press are:
_ 1 2 3 4 5
1 – x – – –
2 – – – x x
3 x – – x x
Hopefully that stayed formatted correctly
Thanks! Still don’t get the achievement, though. :/
Oh wait! It worked! 🙂
I have all the endings done except for the last 3, which have yet to be discovered
I just added #24 to this guide.
Nice. Now all we need to find is what that key cylinder is or whatever. Then the “Decorate your Room” ending does itself
I’m still missing 8 endings. :/
I only have two endings that I don’t know how to do. The last one and the third to last. I ha
I’m left with 5 endings ^-^
Cheated a bit. Sadly, I don’t really regret it. Now down to 2 endings.
When using the uv light I saw the word “Ostap” above Bender on the binary panel. “Ostap Bender” is a Russian character from Russian novels. I looked at the Wikipedia article on him but could not see anything that would help with a code. Maybe you could look and see if you find anything.
Thanks! Will look into it.
Ostap bender was in 2 books, one in 1928 and one in 1931. Play with these numbers maybe? Maybe try somethin based on USSR? I really don’t know
That’s good info. I tried it on the 10 digit panel but no luck. The clue “Ostap Bender” is on the binary panel though, and you can’t have the binary panel and the 10 digit panel open at the same time. So whatever we are looking for needs to use the binary panel or the “don’t do it” panel I think. I could be wrong though.
I added all the numbers last night under the UV light, it comes out to 401. So Ive been trying to stop the timer at 401 but it seems nearly impossible as I can only get 400 and 402. Anyone want to try?
Yeah, I can’t do it either. I like your thinking but surely we have to do something with that key slot or whatever.
I got to discover what do the bunch of numbers mean, it corresponds to the alphabet. Try it by yourslf for the sake of spoilers. (English is not my language :p sry for bad english)
Yeah, I figured that out, too. But didn’t add it since it doesn’t mean anything. I guess I can add it anyway.
Has anyone noticed the poster which only shows up under the uv light? It looks like a ghost looking over a bed maybe? Shine the light under the earthworm poster and you’ll see what I mean. Any ideas on what it could mean?
Yeah, I saw it but not sure that it means anything.
Just added it. 🙂 Along with the photo I removed earlier because I thought it was useless. Maybe it’s not.
The ghost poster is from the “Wait” ending in which you dont touch the button at all
Again, under uv light, there is a set of arrows going round the board in a loop, it crosses the pac man section, ideas?
I really hope we won’t have to stick a coin in the slot and play a game of Pacman. 😛
How do i get the bender poster ending? What is the 4 digit code using the num pad?
The Bender ending is the binary code one. It’s based on the dots next to “WORK” in the instructions. I forgot which one it is — either 0010001 or 1101110.
I have found that if you activate the little timer on the right and stop it on 666 you get a board with different symbols on it but I can’t get any endings out of it .has anyone else found this board ?
Yeah, you need to press all the symbols except the ones you saw from the pentagram ending.
If you use the UV light on the bottom of the silver plate, you get a drawing of the Solar System. However, Pluto has a question mark pointing at it. Why?…
Yeah, I noticed that, too. Still not sure what’s useful and what’s a red herring.
Also wondering what the symbols on the four green buttons mean. And the dice to the left. Plus…a lock next to the Bender buttons?
I just randomly found when you type 2001 into the ten digit pad a wheel. Thing pops up
About to try it myself.
Whoa. Nice job. I don’t think anyone found this before?
What’s the planet that’s being pointed to?
Is there some clue to Space Odyssey? How’d you get that clue? Anyway, got it to work and will make a video. Thanks!
What made you try 2001?
Try PLUTO… And press button, and you get Key for keyhole.
Yep. 🙂 Made a video already. Just wondering how he got 2001.
2001: A Space Oddessey. A great film in history. All of the drawings in the uv light are the stages of human evolution. You have the sun, (skipping the numbers), then solar system, then the caveman, (skipping the goat), then the dice, then pacman which could be video games. And the castle is in there somewhere. I’ve never seen the movie but I bet all the drawings reference the movie.
That’s what I figured, but I didn’t know if there was a specific reference.
By the way thanks for the shoutout
my friend’s birthday was in 2001 and threw it down and it worked
yeah I know, really random.
Thank you for the reference on the strange numbers achievement. But my username is “jacobo911” not jocobo. My name is always misspelled so don’t sorry.
Fixed! 🙂 Sorry about that!
When you flip the handle to the left you get the 10 digit panel and if you use the screwdriver on the cords you get a spot to input a 9 digit code. We have the clues “ostap bender” which gives us the “12 chairs” or 12. The solar system clue has Pluto with a question mark which could mean 9. We have the clue “deciphering it was copletely meaningless” which is missing an “m” which in number form is 13. We still have the dice clues, the pacman clue, and other clues using the uv light. If what I’m thinking is right, we need 9 numbers total. And some way to know what order they go in. Maybe the arrows going around the console?
Also, what’s the little lock next to the Bender buttons?
Maybe, you know what it? There “Rocket”, i think it for 23 ending.)
Can you give us a clue on how to get that ending?
Where did you find the image? Looking that up may help.
Please tell us or at least hint to how you got rhat ending!?
Here are the numbers I can think of.
The last two are as follows:
21 is the total adding up the sides of the dice
410 is the score you would get from the items shown under the uv light in pacman
Fiddle with some of these in the 10 digit slot
The ending23 is not associated with Ostap Bender and the bunch of numbers
You got the ending?
No, they’re just saying its all red herrings, and we have to focus on the key cylinder
*Something* has to have meaning, though, no?
After you get all 24 endings the twenty fifth ending is the coffee so those who are stuck with the last two, all you have to find is one more and the last will come to you.
Thanks, now we know we’re only looking for one ending.
Now does anybody have all the gamecenter achievements? I am missing 2 “hidden” achievements.
What do i do with the panel inside the instructions board?
You need to set your device’s clock to 11:59 PM, then wait for the in-game clock to hit midnight. You’ll get a little printout, which is a clue. They’re apparently random, though, so it might not be the same each time.
I found all the achievements.
Disobedience: Press the red button
Button Maniac: Press 1000 buttons
Interior Decorator: Unlock all endings
Ergophobia: Wait 3 for minutes after unlocking the “Wait” ending
Red Baron: Don’t miss a shot in the “Bomber” mini-game
We Are Watching: Unlock the “Hammer” ending
Groundhog Day: Restart 100 times
Restart From Scratch: Erase your Save with all the endings unlocked
Strange Numbers…: Solve the 5×3 secret puzzle in 6 moves
You managed to get the Red Baron achievement? Just beating the City Boom game felt like the biggest achievement of my life.
It took me like an hour to beat it the first time. Then it took me a few hours, off and on, to learn how to go about getting the achievement, then about another hour to beat it perfectly.
Wow. That game was torture for me, so I’m gonna live without the achievement.
Last ending is posted. Make sure to add it to the blog (Bottom of comments)
I already made a video and added it in earlier today. 🙂
The last ending is achieved by typing 2001 in the ten digit keypad. Afterwards, spell pluto in the dials and press the button underneith. Theres a key. Open the keyslot by pressing the red button on the color keys 4 times. Put the key into the hole and youre good. Its not rocket science 😉
Does anybody found the Anonymous ending? Because I did 🙂
With the book? Yep. 🙂
Did someone found the ‘Anonymous’ ending? Because i did 😀
If you shine the UV light onto the top right panels, you notice some numbers 0-23, 1-4 and 2-1, it’s hint to entering 2001 on the keypad as part of the rocket ending.
I completed all the endings 1-25 but still have 1 achievement to get… 14/15 … Secret?
Have you finished “Bomb City” on your first try? That might be the acheivement youre missing
The 2001 comes from the numbers to the left of the rgbb window under the UV light. You see
The right side is the digit’s place. 2,0,0,1
The book with the two stamps is taken from Papers, Please. It’s another dystopian universe.
I can’t complete with the diamon and silver plate. How do I open up the silver?